It hit me out of nowhere this morning. I was breezing through my day when my thoughts suddenly wandered to Ethiopia. I saw, in my mind, a picture of Sam's birth mom (or what I dream she might look like) and began the decent into her heart. I have never met her, but I pray someday I will. I can only imagine what the emptiness of losing her son might feel like. I don't know the circumstances that led to Sam being left abandoned in the street, but I do know that there are a myriad of reasons that might have led to such a desperate act. I am wrecked thinking about her.
Adoption is amazing. I believe that God brought Sam into our family for His great glory. Not only in rescuing Sam, but in rescuing us from a life of complacency. I believe God wants me to be a wreck! I believe God wants each of us to be a wreck!!
"But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power
is from God and not from us." 2Cor 4:12
I can no longer see life as a place to grab a spot and make it as comfortable and as stress free as possible. In seeing her pain, I see the purpose God has for me. To surrender my weaknesses to him and allow His power to be unleashed through me. Through this jar of clay! To love others like He loves me and be used by Him to "rescue the weak and needy". (Psalm 82:4) Lord, give me your courage and use my life for Your glory. I want to come to the end broken and spent!