Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Blessings of a Broken Heart...

God is teaching me to be obedient when it doesn't make sense. I am a slow-learner and extremely task-oriented and logical so this doesn't compute easily with me, but He is persistent. I am in the middle of my busy season, and by busy I mean REALLY busy (which is a blessing by the way). So, I shrugged off God's tug to write this post, but he keeps tugging and I finally listened. I don't think this post is about me telling you something you should understand, know, do, think or feel. That's between you and God. It's about me recognizing and focusing on what He is saying to me.

Since we began the process of adoption from Ethiopia, God has been opening my eyes outside of my own little world. With the process came a network of friends who have a heart for orphans. Friends who have traveled to Ethiopia and have a global reality, who have seen face to face people who are starving or sick or who have no access to clean water. People who have nothing yet would give you their last bit of food to show you hospitality if they could. God had me read "The Whole in our Gospel" and "Radical", books that gave me eyes to see the world as God must see it. Many of his children living in excess, spoiled with their toys and mindlessly whining about their problems with no grasp that their fellow human beings and brothers and sisters in Christ are going days without food, water or suffering from preventable, curable and treatable illnesses with no hope because they don't have access to a doctor or medicine.

I am that spoiled, whining child. God has shown me so clearly how wrapped up in me I am. He has broken my heart over this and I am so grateful. My heart needed breaking. I want it to continue breaking. Because with a broken heart I must rely on Jesus.

He came into this broken world and through His death He brought healing. Because of Him one day I won't live in a broken place anymore. But, that's not the only reason He came. The gospel isn't just about Him saving me, it's about Him using my life to love and care for others. His plan isn't for sickness, starvation and hopelessness. His plan is for His people to be His hands and feet.

What exactly does that look like for me? I don't know but I pray that He continues to break my heart for the things that break his and that He teaches me to listen and be obedient even when it doesn't make sense.


Janelle said...

such the cry of my heart these days too - hard to process it all but good that we are being called to do that!

Dani said...

I'm half way through The Hole In Our Gospel and it's tearing me up. I'm trying to process and listen to His will. There are bigger things in store for us! Your posted reminded me of Hillsong's Hosanna "break my heart for what breaks yours, everything I am till Your kingdom come..."